I think I hurt a friend

I told a friend of mine that I would be on the internet last night but
getting on the internet at home upsets my wife and so I did not get on. I
think I am becoming that man I hate the one that promises things and
doesn't deliver.

Can they handle the truth?

I think I am poly and I know I am mentally ill which do you think I am more prepared to tell a prospective partner up front. Well for those who just can't wait or don't want to guess it is that I think I am poly. being that the major number one rule is honesty what do I do should I scare people up front or should I carefully navigate into an r'ship trying to conceal the fact that I am ill.

What do I want?

I just want to drive my car into something hard at high speed, I want to pick a fight with someone bigger than me and just let them go to town, I want to be in a relationship where I am just being used, I want to just fall down dead of a mysterious illness. I want to know what I really want.

Why?

Why is it that the only person I have found to love me can't stand who I am in my heart?

All I want is ...

To be loved
To be held
To be normal
To be told everything will be okay
To believe that it will
To have direction

Love and hugs

Can a relationship survive on just love and hugs?

Me and my psych

My psych believes that I may not be poly she thinks that I was starved of love and criticised when I was younger and now I have a defectiveness lifetrap. This mean I hat myself and so I am looking for the love I never had trying to fill myself with enough love to make me feel safe and comfortable but I will never find enough because I don't love (or even like) myself.